Once upon a Rattata, there were two beans. One of the beans left one day for Canada, and an arrow pointed north to where the tacos could dance. Expanding pants floated over a machine, making the gears turn clockwise, but a pillow was covered in the blood of a Romulan who made cheese knives kill a llama. All of this was stopped by a Baltoy named Rumpelstiltskin, who said it could make wine by putting cheese into a monkey. A car honked a horn as a Pokii did the Caramelldansen with a Zergoose on my head. Santa saw this and decided to spill chicken wings all over San Francisco. That was strange, because there were two captains of a flying sharky ship. The flying sharky ship was full of talking dogs and polka-dotted zebras.
Makalov would not have this, and he turned them all orange, declaring that they would worship Mr. Bidofo or the world would come to an end. At about that time, Palkia shoved her head into Dialga's mouth, causing a rupture in the time-space continuum which made the pants expand further, all the way to the Vatican. But no...the Pope would not allow this, and he shot the pants with a HUGE rifle, and then went to eat at a fast-food restaurant called Speedo Burrito, where the wait staff was nothing but people in swimming suits and they served nothing but guess what? Burritos!
All of a sudden, an army of Dittos approached, causing Visser Three to drop the velocicrapter. The Dittos turned into a gigantic butt, and let out a massive fart, which stunk up the city. This caused a gigantic alligator to leap out of the ground and consume the Dittos. But the Dittos expanded in the gator's belly, and it exploded all over the city. The Dittos then left, leaving the city covered in gator. Miror B arrived, and with the help of his Ludicolos, the city was cleaned, and it all turned into a disco. This caused the molasses to run into the rivers--a very sticky situation, no doubt, but at least they found Marth's pants. Unfortunately, by the time they did, Groudon had eaten them, and this made him turn blue.
Blue!Groudon went on a rampage, and then stepped on Kyogre, accidentally. Kyogre turned pink like a Valentacruel, and swam off, annoyed with Groudon. Groudon turned red again, and the mages arrived, trying to subdue him, but he farted on them, and they passed out. Groudon made for the hills, but was intercepted by a GIANT DRAGON THAT LIKE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. But the dragon found Groudon to be boring, and went to go eat some innocent civilians and burn some buildings. The dragon was Arcaran, and when he was done looting innocent villages, he turned to a human form and used his confiscated riches to gamble~
Ho-oh was getting annoyed, so he blew a raspberry at Lugia. Lugia was like all "WTF was that for, Ho-oh," and then hydro-pumped Ho-oh. Ho-oh dodged the blast of water and flew away, seeking out that trainer with a pure heart, which he probably would never find because THE CAEK IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!
Every morning I'm picked up, and taken to school. Did you know that the bus driver is a giant pig, and he wears a patch on one eye? He used to sail the seas, seeking a fish with magical properties--but that fish found him and cursed him into a humanoid pig form, and so he drives buses now, and boy, is he grumpy. But unlike the other kids, I'm quiet, and he likes that in a person. I think my dog makes him nervous, though--but why? He has a pet rabbit to protect him, and I always give the rabbit carrots. So sweet of me isn't it?
And then I wait outside my math class for about an hour. But I don't mind. From there I can perch, and watch the sea, and the birds. It's calming, and prepares me for the numbers that come next. We have to corral the radicals like sheep--they get away if we're not careful--and the square root sign is like the lasso. If we lasso them in the wrong way, they'll be upset and attack us, screaming their values loudly. Oh, boy, what a class that was!
Then lunchtime. I went downtown, to see if the wooden place was open, but it was 11 and it didn't open till 11:30. I went to the bank and withdrew some currency, then headed back to the school grounds. Then I went to the merchant stalls and bought some stuff including a lunch special, and headed into the student union. The place is built into a cave, and there are bats all over the ceiling. But these are magic bats, and they don't poop. They glow golden, and they squeak, and they are fun to watch. It's dark and cool in here, and there's a bar on one side, an arcade on another side, and a bookstore on the other. On other levels there are places to do all kinds of things, and a few flatscreen TVs. I sat with my friend Thomas and we discussed rumours.
The kids who make messes, and they don't flush, tend to disappear. There's a story about that. Max, a janitor of long ago, like, 800 years, was once trapped under an avalanche of human waste, and he died, mostly of the smell. From this day forth, he haunts anyone without proper hygiene, and especially pigs and slobs. The student union is always nice and clean, so either this rumour is true or the janitors these days are really good.
And then there's my design class. We went under the sea, and worked with seashells. The fish were nice to us and greeted us--they like our decorations. And then it was time to go home. As usual, I headed to the Cheshire Cat's house and waited with my dog, while the Cheshire Cat laughed and grinned at my jokes. And when I got home, I slept like a puppy.
It was a good day.
I don't know where I am. What country is this? No honestly, I don't know. I think I might be in Russia right now. There are these people in here. They're all nice. They all care about me. Isadora is walking the dog, though it's 12:40 AM right now and dark out. The dog likes being walked at that time. Oghren is by the beer case, drunk again. I can hear him talking, muttering incoherently. Wynne won't help me with these math problems. She says I must do it on my own. Odo's making sure there aren't any intruders, because I thought I heard a bump outside, but with him on the case, Nog can't steal my bonbons or my cash.
Morn's with Oghren, and boy are they drunk, laughing and having a good time. Hank the Cowdog and Drover are with my dog I bet, and Pancake doesn't feel like dancing anymore. Vani's staring at Tavish who just wonders why he's here. Emma's with Pete, and Steve is working at the hospital late tonight. I'm telling Skye to go smoke outside--we don't want lung cancer in here. Garak is commenting on how atrocious my wardrobe is. He's going to make me some new shirts. =D
Is this Australia? It has to be. It's gotta be, because there's kangaroos. I haven't eaten anything but broth in two days--I could use a bloomin' onion! Maybe even Sten would join in--he's over there with Worf. Captain Janeway is making coffee in the coffeemaker.
I love my friends. They can be as I want them to be. I can make them real! I love them so much! But Wynne needs to help me with this math! D: There was pretty young woman here, a prostitute no doubt...but she died when Oghren sat on her.
I found Jamie too. I gave her to that Legate over there. He'll decide what to do with her, no doubt, probably torture her or something. She's pretty when she's screaming though, and we have dungeons, far below our house.
I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JOIN IN OUR REVELRIES!
My dog is back...he can help me with the math! Screw you, Wynne!!!
You know me. I'm so pathetic. But they don't think I'm pathetic. They're nice to me, they try to console me with these lies. Everyone lies to me about how great I am. Why can't they just tell me the truth? At least these people are pretty truthful. They're nice too, in a nice way. Dependable, unlike my emotions and my insomnia. They're a part of my family. I know them all. I know them well. But I don't know them. People are complex beings. You don't even know yourself fully.
Why am I even typing here? I should be at the party! Disco lights all over my room! But I need to do math! I can do them both!!!